Porcelain

Yep. Was supposed to work today. But apparently my stomach has other ideas. I am sick...again. With the same damn thing. Why? I can't afford to miss work, but I can't bring myself to go in when I am running to the potty every half hour either. Just having my face close to it makes me sick on it's own. Yuck. It started yesterday afternoon. I thought it was something I ate...maybe it still is. Frustrating though.

Rachel was having a difficult time herself, so I kept her home with me. For reasons I am not "allowed" to say. Anyway...we are planning to stay in bed, watch CMT, Harry Potter and sleep.

Hope your day is a good one.

Happy Day

My sister Sarah really blessed me today. I woke up this morning early. Hoping that I wouldn't have, I drudged myself up and began flipping around on the computer. My mind was racing with "What If's" (I apparently must enjoy this in some masochistic way) and could tell that this just wasn't going to be my day. Not by fate, but obviously by choice. I was choosing to feel lousy. I was choosing to feel sorry for myself...etc.

But Sarah left me a message on this page. I am so glad she did. She seemed sad, lonely kinda and at that moment I thought it would be great (since she was up early too) if we could just get out in the fresh air and get our blood going. Feel some kind of life pumping through us and for me, to let me know I am ok and living for a reason. I wanted her to know that I was here for her too, whenever and for whatever reason. My gosh...she lives eactly 1 half block from me on the same street. *waving*

So, anyway, because I called her up and we went on our early morning brisk walk, my day completely changed from that moment. I felt happy, my legs hurt, but damn happy. Rachel and I went out to breakfast, helped out a friend, did some shopping for flowers and went to town on our front and side yard. I raked, I mowed, preened, pruned and planted. I went and enjoyed an impromptu BBQ at a friends that I normally would have turned down, 'cause ya know...I make myself the third wheel in my head and how fun could it really be? Well it was. Just me and Rachel with other couples. It was awesome.

I am completely worn out physically, but dang me if my head doesn't feel just right.

Thank you Sarah.

Meh

Hmm perhaps I shouldn't have said anything about my date. He has gone from attentive and caring to...I am not sure what. Certainly not the same. See? I go to lunch with a guy and BAM! it's over before anything could begin. Not that it's over...I am just in that point of where I don't know what he thinks or whatever. My head immediatly goes to where I think there is no possible way he could. Why would he? I am an overweight single parent that struggles to get through daily life. My head full of mis-trust from prior damage. Too much to deal with, and not yet have I met a man that thought I was worth the struggle to prove me wrong about him.

And so why do I have to analyze every single situation? Is it really my fear of feeling hurt? Or am I just a complete nut case and the reason why I find myself not able to have a relationship is because I am truly not capable of having one? I know I am capable of love, I just don't think that men are capable of loving me.

How's that for a downer. It's not a pity party. I was trying to be hopeful...earlier. Not so much anymore.

Maybe, it's the margaritas. Maybe, the drink just let's me see it, for what it is.

Whadayaknow

My date. My date went really good. I think... It's been a while, a long while, since I was with someone that I actually felt...something, for. Not that the last few I have dated have been unfeeling on my part, but there was just something missing in the mix. It wasn't missing for me this time.

I ended up making the compromise and driving over to Salem. I only went for the afternoon so we could get to know each other in person better and get that confort that we already find on the phone. It was there in person too. Especially after a nice Irish coffee during lunch. He is very sweet, very handsome...and smells sooo good. :P Oh..and he's tall. Even with 2 inch heels on, he was taller than me Hallelujah!

He is smart. I love that. He drove me around town telling of the architecture, the history and even showed me where he went to school. I loved it. Although, it rained, furiously at times, the sun seemed to be shining somewhere within.

I hope he felt the same.

I hope I see him again soon...

On your mark

Yep. Just another day in the 'hood. *heavy sigh* (lip roll and everything)

Quiet these days isn't it? While I am not giving up on my personal challenge of getting hot and skinny...I think I am for the Great Slim Down. Everyone has just sort of lost the drive for it, it would seem. Aside from internet issues and general busy-ness. It's ok though...I understand and will miss the feeling that "We were in this together" kinda thing. It motivated me.

But, that doesn't mean I am stopping. I like the fact that, while I have no money to buy new clothes, my clothes are getting to the point where I just have to do something. I am down to only 3 pairs of pants I can wear that don't look...uh...Baggy? Baggy isn't even right because baggy just doesn't even begin to decribe. I just feel silly and somewhat embarrassed when I am in front of a client and I have to hike up my pants or toss back my top because the neckline is way too low or the waist is inching down my hips. The 3 pairs of pants I have, are capris. A little too casual for the office.

I am not complaining mind you...I am just waiting for a bag of money to fall from the sky. Even then, it wouldn't go for clothes.

My life is definitly back to the norm. Catching up to the word Go.

19 and havin' way too much fun

I am not entirely sure, but mostly certain, that I was just drunk dialed by an old client that is now back East. From the part that I could understand, he said "...I saw your number on my phone and I just wanted to wish you a good day. I miss your sweet voice. You were always so nice to me..." Then he stumbled around a few more words and said "...I will be back in the Winter..."

Oh goody.

Looking back at you

Sometimes I think I'd cut off my hand to spite my foot. Throwing the baby out with the bathwater...counting chickens before they're hatched...one, two, forget to buckle my shoe and it goes flying off down the cliff while riding my bike in the middle of nowhere looking for a gas station.

I have a hard time believing that someone is really nice. I honestly believe the best of people, which is odd to say after the last statement. I do though, I want to believe that people are truly good at heart and will make a good and honest representation of themselves. But, my mind inevitably goes to the ones that haven't been honest and good. The ones I truly believed were, only to find out that they are actually evil, nasty, deceptive people that even a flea wouldn't be caught dead with. (How's that for harboring anger? ;) And so, I question and analyze every word...every inflection in the tone of their voice and then create my own scenarios of how things will possibly progress. The drama...

Now, what's funny, is that my friends usually call me when they need piece of mind. They may be upset about something whether still yet fictional or something that has actually come to pass, and I am their voice of reason. Go figure. 'Course being on the outside of a situation is much easier to evaluate than when it's your own. At least in my point of view.

This is the point, where I get to the point. I am conversing, relating, getting to know...whatever you want to call it, this guy I mentioned a little while ago. This next weekend is the weekend where we are actually going to go out on a date, versus spending 2 hours on the phone.

I really like this guy, a lot. I just hate the distance thing, been there done that and it didn't turn out too good. But at the same time, I can't put the grievances of a prior relationship as burden on this one. But (again) I am finding myself looking for reasons why it couldn't work out and looking for things that I can question. To the point that I sent him an email expressing those fears. *sigh*

Now usually, when this happens (yeah I've done it before and it turned out that my fears were completely justified) I'd get a really defensive and nasty email back. I was expecting this to be the case this time too. But (yet again) this wasn't the case. Instead, he sent me a text message asking if I was ok. If we needed to talk and his feeling bad that I wasn't myself with all the questions swirling in my head. He said, he understood.

Huh? Wait a minute. He wasn't supposed to be understanding, sweet and when we talked on the phone, his voice completely soothing whatever fear I had manifesting? He was supposed to be a jerk like all the others that felt threatened by my inquisition.

He...calmed me.

I think I like it. And I wish I could stick my hand in that water, shake it 'round a bit and come back with a new reflection. Or maybe he just did that...

I before E except after C

Conversations with Rachel

Her: "Mom do you hear that?"

Me: "What?"

Her: "The drums? Hear 'em?"

Me: "Oh yeah...it's just the natives. Their getting restless."

Her: *silence*


She is procrastinating. 'Course if these were my spelling words (and this is a few of them, she actually has 10 lessons this week with 15 words each) I might feel the urge to procrastinate too.



Actually, these lessons were due today, but ya know..she forgot. So, the sooner she gets them done, the better her grade will stay.

I think I hear the beating of drums again...Oh no wait..that's my daughter...

Starting over

It's been a quiet morning. I like those...

This weekend, has been a busy one. I have my daughters best friend for the weekend as well my Sisters puppy. She's cute. But I might as well have a toddler running about the house creating havoc. And my house is so not baby proofed anymore. I have now gone through an entire roll of paper towels, a bottle of carpet cleaner and about 4 towels. God Bless my Sister for having two young children AND a puppy.

I decided to get the 3 girls out of my house yesterday and into the wild for a bit of a hike. Well, what I would call a "hike". More like a long walk, anyway, it was beautiful. Buds of everything popping out of the ground, the river was running heavy and full with winter run off and little creatures scurrying about. It felt like I filled my day with something valuable.

I start the other job this week. I am looking forward to the extra income but am kinda hoping it doesn't "feel" like a second job. Not that I expect something for nothing, but I just don't want to be wore to the bone either. I dont' think it will make much difference.

Have a great rest of your weekend.

Throwing myself in

Well, I found myself a second job. A couple nights a week for a few hours. But it pays hourly and commissions if I get a live one. It won't take too much time away from Rach, and I think I can even bring her with me. She can do her homework while I make calls.

It will keep me busy too. Keep my mind from thinking and for some reason, I need that now. I don't know how often I will be posting, I don't think it really matters and the lines here are a bit blurry these days anyway. It may not make a difference at all, since I need an outlet of some sort and writing things out always comes easier for me. There are precious few I can talk to in person.

So, Woohoo! Extra money...Rachel wants a summer camp at the coast this year and now I can actually do it. :)

They're everywhere

Ding-Bat

1. An empty-headed or silly person.
2. An object, such as a brick or stone, used as a missile.
3. An unspecified gadget or other small article, especially one whose name is unknown or forgotten.
4. A typographical ornament or symbol.

Related words:

Simpleton

1. A person lacking intelligence or common sense.

I had a client yesterday, that called me a Dingbat no less than 7 times during our conversation. Was there a reason? No. Were there any mistakes that I had made during our interaction? No. (Not that, that, would have justified anything) Apparently, he treats women this way, as his wife was there and he was just as degrading to her. She found it funny however. I, did not. He also wanted to know, If I had "screwed everything up yet?" And, I believe Idiot was thrown in a couple of times too. He would chuckle to himself each time he thought he made me feel less than. Unfortunately for him, he didn't make me feel bad, I just felt bad for him...and his wife, a little. (she was obviously accepting of his behavior) I kept my head turned away from him, because with any eye to eye contact, I was sure to tell him to kiss something soft and round.

When he left, I told him to have a nice day. He said "I doubt it!"

Heh, I doubt it too.

I was pretty much a jerk today. Sometimes assumptions or thoughts about a particular thing seem like truth when you don't know any different. And you don't know any different because you don't take the time to ask and find out how something really is. Not ignorance, just stupidity. My mom left a comment tonight. I removed it, but I didn't remove it because it was something I wanted to hide or deny, just simply that I thought it was best left between us instead of the whole internet. I don't normally post about detailed family issues.



I was angry today, because I assumed something had been said to my Mom to put me in a negative light. A piece of a conversation that was taken and forwarded without the purpose of the whole. It made me sad, and angry to think that someone would have a purpose for that. And so, I spent our day at my Mom's for Mother's day, feeling that it was best to just not say anything. When I feel that way, I do better if I keep my mouth shut so that I don't spit out something nasty or have some inflection that is rude. It happened anyway, however, when my Mom asked me a simple question. At that point, I knew I just needed to shut up. What makes it bad however, is that I was completely wrong. And, so, I spent the day with my family wondering what was wrong with me and if I was angry at them in particular. To be honest, I am not sure who in particular, certainly not my Mom but it came across that way too. I wish I could make the day over again, but I can't. I was just angry at the "thought". And that is what was so wrong. It wasn't truth. Just an assumption. And I am sorry for taking that out on anyone.



Really sorry...

And still there was more...

Our second and third days, we thought we would take a bit easier. (Yeah...right) And, on Sunday we went to Magic Kingdom (Disneyland). It was just as I remembered the Disneyland at the time it was when I was a little girl (I grew up in Los Angeles and Disneyland was an annual adventure). Same rides and layout, with the exception of ToonTown. And, The Castle in Florida is that of Cinderella's whereas in California it is Sleeping Beauty's. But honestly, I think they call it what they want to suit whatever show they have going on at the time. That, or no one really knows which princess the castle belongs to (And just where is Snow White's anyway? She IS the original Princess ya know.). Anyway, whomever owns the right to call it "their" castle, it's beautiful. The best time to view it is at night, when it is fully illuminated and the colors alternate from gold to warm blues and purples to vivid pinks. Most of my pictures didn't come out so well, only one gives a hint of the majesty (and the fact that my cameras battery was just about dead after two days of constant shooting), but I am still hoping that my Mom's camera has some on it (have you tried to download any of those yet, Mom? I bet they are on there...somewhere)

Anywho, it was lots of fun with the exception of one yahoo, who was definitly from the East Coast...accent and all, that ran into me during a crowded push. I mumbled something under my breathe about how I miss the niceties of home (I was surprised at how rude the general public was, not one time did I hear someone say "Excuse me") and he then turned around and started screaming, first at my daughter who was really taken aback, and then looked at me and started yelling cuss words and the like. I asked him what his problem was and he just went off again at me saying something about being a nicer person (Ummm I believe he was the one that wasn't being nice as I just stood there wondering what in the world his problem was and maybe the heat had fried his unusually small brain) and then my Mother. Ha! My Mom was great, she said "Maybe you should get a big truck." (an inside joke about men that are aren't gifted with height and the fact that they like big trucks. It's a common thing around these parts. Not that there is anything wrong with that.) and when he started to rush her said "What are you going to do? Hit an Old Lady?!" He promptly turned around and went on his way. I have to say though, it took me a little while to shake it off. If you saw this guy, it would have scared you too.

With that little tidbit of a man out of the way, we pressed on.

Monday, we took in MGM. I loved all of the old store fronts made to look like the glamour days of Hollywood and the different "cities" you could find yourself in with the simple rounding of a corner. This is where we rode the Hollywood Tower of Terror, in which you ride in a hotel elevator that has somehow entered "The Twilight Zone".



They take you to the top of that sign, in the dark, and free fall you several times. 3 or 7 stories, I don't remember which. It's a lot of fun, but the second time we rode it and reached the end of the ride it asks "So will you escape the Twilight Zone?" and the ride shuts down. Completely. There we are...in the dark, unaware if we are dangling precariously at the top of the ride or safely at the bottom and a little girl in the back says "I guess not!" It wasn't too long before they turned on the lights and got us out of there. Yeesh...talk about a freaky moment. They let us ride again though without having to wait in line.

Our next ride was the Rockin' Roller coaster with Aerosmith.



This is a "ride it once and I am good" kind of ride. It's pretty intense. They put you in this "stretch limo" lookin' type roller coaster train and then zip you off to 60+ miles per hour in like 2 seconds and send you into this dark coaster that immediatly puts you into a full loop and into a cork screw. I don't remember too much of it as it was really fast and furious. Not to mention that they have Aerosmith's "Love in an elevator" pumping in your ear. I liked it, but it did make me a little nervous. I felt like I should have been strapped in a little better instead of the one shoulder brace they provide. After that we took in some shows and a back lot tour.

We finished our day with Downtown Disney and dinner at Gloria Estefan's restaurant Bongo's. Let me just say that Cuban food is YUMMY! I didn't know that citrus and Garlic made such a yummy marinade...dang me. And their Cafe de leche (Cuban coffee) is good too.

Carry-ons

So, I have been talking with this guy for about a month now. We talk every night, and during the day (text messages). We seem to really have a connection, it seems great and like we will really hit it off. The problem? He lives in Salem. That's 150 miles away for those that don't know. I met him through that whole single parent group thing. Yeah it's also a dating site, so sue me. What do you expect from a girl that works 40-45 hours a week and spends her evenings catching up with chores around the house. My weekends are usually full of bussing my daughter around and/or catching up on some much needed sleep. Anyway, it's my only alternative since I am not the "bar" hanging type. Ew. No, no...give me anonymity anyday. Ok then, so he lives in Salem, you might think that if something is as good as it seems, then distance wouldn't be a problem. But apparently it would seem so. And that bothers me. If he thinks I am so great and worth so much then what is his hang up about coming here to see me? Shouldn't the "guy" be the one to make that effort? I know I am old fashioned, but I don't really think anything has changed in this arena. I am not going to be the one to put myself in some vulnerable situation, or put myself out on the line by traveling to a city that I have only driven through and gotten lost in it at that. He used to live here, he knows the area and has family here, in a way. So what is the problem? Is he not as "in-like" with me as he says and he doesn't see the importance of sweeping me off my feet? Isn't it the man's job to impress the woman? Sheesh...sometimes I wish I was a bird.

I sent him an email after our conversation last night, explaining how I feel about it. I haven't heard back. I figure it's just as well. Either I did the smart, adult thing (not that the two are necessarily synonymous) or I just bought myself a one way ticket to lonely. It would be a return trip anyway (I have season tickets), so I guess it isn't so bad.

For Giggles

Ok! Time for a little end of the week, we are almost there LIFT!

Go Here

SIt back...relax...and I dare you to only watch it once.

Lifted from Kristine

We're here!

I was surprised by this photo. It's hard to capture motion and still keep focus on the subject. Kinetic. The speed is in there, but then there is the stillness.

Sort of what I have been like the past couple of days. I am moving, getting caught up, working all day to come home and work some more. Then, I crash. Hard and early.

Our first day in Orlando was a beautiful one. The weather was warm with few clouds to keep the sun at bay and a mild cool wind to keep us just right. It was a nice lead in to the unforgiving sun that Florida has, for us Pac Northwesterners. We had a few bumps in our road when we first arrived, but after a good nights sleep, we were ready to hit a park. We went to Animal Kingdom first. It's huge. Abound with lush landscapes, gorgeous flowers and tropical animals around every turn. Here is where we rode Expidition Everest. Disney did a good job on this one. Lot's of fun and even though we had to wait in a rather long line, they try to make it as entertaining as possible with true to the theme art work and design. It was beautiful, I thought. I kept holding up the line taking pictures and such but I would just say my apologies and move on. I couldn't help though, I just wish more of those pictures came out better. We wandered around and saw some sights, only to realize that the park was closing soon and we still had over half of it to see. We decided there that this is a park we would definitely come back to later in the week.

That night, we also had our Murder Mystery Dinner. We made it back just in time and I am so glad we did. It was great fun, and even though my take on "Who did it" wasn't exactly right on (I honestly think that it was the detectives assistant who was the bastard child of the mob bosses wife and was jealous because their daughter was marrying a man that wasn't worthy of "The Family" Mine was way more juicy and took some actual thought versus the outcome which was incredibly obvious. The mother (mob bosses wife) did it.) it was fun to be a part of. After the dinner, we headed over to Downtown Disney (right across from our hotel). It was chock full of people, lights and even a mime. He was funny though. Not like those annoying mimes that follow you around and play shadow. No, he was making the most unlikely of people do the craziest stuff. Very funny. We spent a good couple of hours wandering the stores, taking in some late...late night dessert at Planet Hollywood and then making, what seemed like a 5 mile trek, back to our hotel. I am not sure of the time at this point, I think it was like 2am before we all collapsed into our beds. Such a great day.

So there we go...well, for our first day anyway. It was the fullest I think, because we were excited to be there and there was so much to see and do. And yet, we hadn't really begun.

One for the books

You can see the photos Here but there are a lot more I still need to load. I guess some of my photos aren't exactly specific. But I take pictures based on those things that strike me about a particular location, ones that provoke the memory and remind me of a particular moment in time. There is one photo of some leaves outside of the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland and some just flowers outside of the Hollywood Tower of Terror in MGM. But I hope you like them...

Our trip was a whirlwind. We "thought" we would have a day or even two to relax and take in the whole idea of "vacation" but as it turned out, we were going non stop. Our mornings would start later but we were going until the wee hours of the morning. Including a midnight visit to Planet Hollywood. Disney stayed true to their elaborate, ornate and detailed design which makes you truly feel like you are experiencing whatever destination they would have you believe. Whether it be the old world feel of the UK, colorful China, the dry landscapes of Africa or the country charm of Denmark. It was amazing. I certainly didn't capture photos of everything I saw, but I felt if I kept my eye in the viewfinder the whole time I wanted to, I would have missed...something. Flora and fauna abound in every park, upon every turn and every leg weary step you took. The food...well let's just say we ate, well. The rides were awesome and we found lots of thrills, chills and screams. To the point where I had lost my voice for a couple of days during our trip. It was an odd feeling to try to say something and yet nothing would come out except a weird squeak here and there. I had never lost my voice before and I kept thinking I could just clear my throat and it would be fine. But, no. Yet another new, and funny, experience :P

It was interesting to see the different types of personalities and people that live across the country. It was truly a world away from home, but with any difficulties we may have had within our trip, it was a great time overall. And I am so thankful it was with my Daughter and my Mom.

No place like home

Woohoo! We're home. I loved our trip, I loved all that we experienced, saw and did. But, dang me, I am happy to be in Central Oregon with the cool air, the mild sun and the luminous mountains surrounding us. I missed my kitties, my family and my very own pillow. And, I missed my computer. Web TV was a bonus with our hotel, and I got to visit you guys a couple times on our trip, but it just wasn't the same.

Thanks to Amy for sitting my journal. I understand being busy though...Lord knows I saw enough of that this last week. And thanks Amy! for the "drawrings" of me so skinny!! Love it! :P

I'll write more later...after the laundry is done and bags unpacked...

Dang it! I blame the monkeys...

I am so sorry, guys. The week got away from me, and now, any minute Michelle will be back home. At the risk of whining- its been a rough week and my creativity was shot. I'm sorry. I do thank you all for your time, though. It was fun :) And welcome home to Michelle and Rachel. Hope your trip was awesome.

So, before I go, I will leave you all with the first chapter of my current fanfiction. It should give you a good laugh when you find out what I write about ;) Its called Daily News. Enjoy:

Chapter One

Monday the 16th
Today I went for coffee at $tarbucks. I don't really know why I do this to myself, espresso is the devil. I'm either jittery or sick after I drink it. But the smell lures me in every time. Damn my non-existent will power. On a good note, this is the third morning in a row that I've seen His Royal Hotness at the newspaper stand on my block. He goes for The Wall Street Journal, I stole a good look this time. He still hasn't looked at me, or up for that matter. I'm wearing the Manolo pumps tomorrow. Give him something more interesting than year old gum and stock reports to look at.

Monday, May 16th

One good thing about this god-forsaken hole, they sell the Journal at the corner newspaper stand, though I have to trudge half a block to get there at great personal peril. If I were to sum up Bingley's taste in real estate in one word it would be an ugly one with no view and even less class. I still can't believe he dragged me along. Damn my inability to say no. Nonetheless, I have the Journal and Boeing is up three and a half. And there was the girl at the stand. She's almost cute. First decent girl I've seen in a week. Bad taste in reading materials, though- no paper, just some gossip rag. Nothing like a shallow mind to put me right off.

______________________________________________


"I am so sorry!"

Of course she was sorry. They were always sorry. Oh, please forgive me for spilling my scalding hot coffee on you. Here, let me wipe that up, and oh my, is that your multi-million dollar wallet or are you just happy to see me.

"Its alright," William Darcy muttered under his breath as he set the girl aright without really looking. It was the fact that she didn't stay aright, but wobbled unsteadily that drew his full attention. As he watched her face morph from friendly appreciation to snarky disdain, he realized that he, himself, was scowling.

"Oh, did my breaking a heel inconvenience you terribly? I do apologize again. Shall I bow before you to make it official?" she snapped while gaining her balance.

"No, actually. It was the second degree burns I just received on my chest that did it," he replied, not missing a beat.

"Oh, man. I'm sorry. Here, let me fix that," she said as she sought an open space to set down her coffee and tried to dig through her handbag at the same time.

"Its fine, really," William grumbled as he pulled a few crisp bills from his pocket and moved away from her to pay for his paper. Just as he had expected.

"But it must be expensive. The tie, I mean. Here, I insist," she said firmly as she grabbed his arm to stop him.

This drew William up short. He knew the game, and she was probably an expert. By the quick feel of his arm she would be able to tell the price of his suit to the penny. A demure dip of the eyes would appraise his Italian leather shoes, and with a subtle inward swoop to whisper in his ear she would catch a healthy whiff of the cost of his cologne. His jaw clenched in anticipation.

"Take it. And if the dry-cleaner can't get it out, I'll buy you a new one, and the shirt,too. I see a spot there," she said, pointing to his chest.

William would have looked where she was directing if the money she held out before him hadn't kept him so riveted. This woman was seriously holding out a fist-full of dollars. To him. Unreal.

"Hello? I don't have all day. Take it," she grabbed for his hand and tried to push the money into it. William snatched it back as if bitten.

"I don't need your money," was all he could think to say.

"Of course you don't, Bill Gates. But when I make a mess I clean it up. Now, look, take the money. I have to hobble home and change these shoes, and I'm already late for work."

"Then go, please. I really don't need your money and I'm sure it wouldn't be enough anyway." It wasn't what he had meant to say or how he had meant to say it, and he regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth.

"You know what, buddy. Forget it. These shoes aren't cheap, either. Manolo Blahnik! Broken! You are some kind of bad luck, let me tell you. My favorite lucky shoes, demolished within seconds of running into you. I swear, people these days…" she barked at him before spinning on her one good heel and limping away as fast as she could manage. She only got as far as the curb, where she began waving down a cab. One by one, yellow and black bullets whizzed past her without a single flash of a brakelight. It was obvious she was getting more flustered by the second.

William hesitated, torn between helping her and walking away from this disaster forever. Walk, his mind screamed at him. Walk now!

His sharp whistle made her jerk in surprise, but he ignored it as well as her startled glare. With a commanding wave of his hand, William got the attention of a passing cab.

"I don't need your help," she snapped defensively.

"Of course you don't, Gloria Steinem. Get in the cab. I owe you an apology."

Against her better judgment, and definitely against the anger she felt compelled to hold against this stranger forever, she got in the cab.

"Where to?" the cabbie asked as they settled in the back of his car. William gave a questioning look to his new companion, as she was the one calling the shots on this trip. Her mouth opened in automatic response, but she pulled herself up short and seemed to think for a moment. She took a quick glance at the slim watch on her wrist, then, with an anxious look said "270 Park Avenue, please."

The address struck a familiar chord with William, but he couldn't remember why. He sat quietly for several minutes, trying to sort it out until her voice broke his train of thought.

"You said something about an apology."

"Yes, well. Your shoe, that's unfortunate," he said flatly. His main goal had been to help get her a cab without damaging her pride any further. Now that he had succeeded, he wasn't sure what to do with her.

William watched her eyes narrow, and she inhaled a concentrated breath that he was almost certain would come back out in the form of a world-class berating. He braced himself.

"Far more unfortunate than you know," was her only reply. Once again, she had done the unexpected. And because of it, William found himself drawn deeper into a situation that he would normally have walked away from without another thought.

"William Darcy," he offered his hand in truce as well as introduction.

"Elizabeth Bennet," she responded, taking it hesitantly.

He held her hand for too long, he knew it was true. William was in big business, he pressed the flesh on a daily basis. And with the string of social obligations that came with his standing in society, he had dated more than his share of women. There was no possible way he could count the number of hands that had been in the exact spot that hers now occupied. But this felt different and he held on a little longer than was polite, trying to decide if the sensation was good or bad.

"I will need that back, please," Elizabeth quipped shortly, finally pulling from his grip. "And don't think that I'm so easily swayed by a handsome face and firm handshake. You insulted me when I was trying to make nice, and you have yet to produce the promised apology."

William gave her half of a smile, his eyes crinkling slightly as his cheek dimpled with amusement. They were locked together for the duration of this trip, and he was determined to draw some familiar response out of her, to prove to himself she was just like every other woman he had ever met. Why not, he thought, he would never see her again.

"How did I insult you?" his voice was as smooth and dark as chocolate.

The effect was not the one he had hoped for.

"Are you for real?" she asked in astonishment. "Or is your short term memory shot. I distinctly remember the words ‘wouldn't be enough anyway' passing from those lips. When someone offers to make amends for an honest mistake, its generally good form to at least respond to said offer with a little graciousness. Or did they not teach you that at Pretty Boy school?"

This ruffled his feathers, to say the least. He knew that he had been wrong to say that, but Pretty Boy school, indeed.

"I hardly think I need etiquette lessons from someone who gets their world news from the pages of a gossip rag," he threw back caustically.

"Oh, that's rich! Judgmental much? Can't give a girl the time of day, but you can sure keep track of what she's doing wrong. I'll have you know that I buy that magazine for... oh no!" a look of horror passed over her features as her hand flew up to cover her mouth. Her sudden swing in focus threw him completely off balance.

"What's the matter?" he asked, confused.

"I didn't get it. I'm late, I didn't get the magazine and my shoes are ruined. I don't think this day could possibly get worse," she sighed as she closed her eyes and rubbed her fingers across her forehead in irritation.

Before William could speak again, the cab pulled up before the JP Morgan Chase building. Realization struck him full force as the familiar address Elizabeth had given the cabbie became the very building the he himself had been destined for later that morning. He had thought they had been taking her home to change her shoes, and he could not fathom what business this unusual woman could possibly have at one of America's leading financial institutions when she was already late for work. Unless she was someone's secretary?

Elizabeth reached into her handbag, took out some of the bills she had so recently waved before William's face, and shoved them at the cab driver. William made to protest, after all the cab had been his doing and he would not stick a lady with the bill even if she did irritate the hell out of him. But there was no time to pursue the issue. Elizabeth had popped out of the cab and was hobbling toward the steel and glass monolith before he could draw breath to speak.

Slowly, William exited the cab. He smoothed his coat, straightened his tie and squared his shoulders before following in the footsteps of one seriously mind-blowing woman.

Why? Because We Love You...

Four a.m. rolled around way too early this morning. I only have to get up that early a few times per week, depending on when the little boy I watch during the day needs to come over. His poor mother, she works way too hard.

My sisters-in-law (the ones not basking in the beautiful Florida sun) and I walked the butte in our town, a 2-mile endeavor, this weekend and followed it up with a nice brisk walk this evening. Well, it would have been brisk for me if I could feel my legs. But, alas, nothing but noodles. Fortunately I had my moose of a dog to pull me along.

Add these together, and mix them with a dash of 'I am way too old to do things I could barely do in my 20's' and you have me- posting this abysmal excuse of a blog entry at 9:00 p.m. I appologize. I had meant for this to be a cute little murder mystery/kidnapping (of my left sock), complete with photographic evidence of the usual suspects (two dogs, a cat, and a five year old) but alas, the brain is fried and the sandman is a'knocking.

So, I'm hoping for a spark of creativity tomorrow. Until then, sweet dreams to you all.