It's been a busy Summer. Rachel turned 16. I have a 16 year old daughter that is looking at colleges in other states, saving for a car and serving at Church. I am...well, it's just surreal.

I don't write much anymore. I don't take pictures much anymore, either. But I am going back to school in the Fall to turn myself around. I've gotten lost somewhere in the mayhem that is my life. So much brain power focused on things that...really just need to go away. :P

My head is filled with a lot of hurts and a lot of What If's. A lot of needs, desires, hopes, dreams and wishes. My synapses are alight with questions, little in answers, and big on wasted energy. I'm overloaded with Why Is It This Way's and How Can I change It's? The I Want To Help Everyone's but struggling with the I Can't Even Help Myself's. Keep Moving Forward's and Keep Trying's keep me going, but the I Wish I Could Just Take A Break's haunt my brain every day.

I'm tired. I feel liked I've walked a million miles and still have so far to go.

But, I still have Joy. I have Joy in where I live. I'm fortunate to have a home, transportation, the love of my child. I have a job, the opportunity to go to school and the freedom to do so. I'm not all doom and gloom ya know...

Today, the river is my Joy. I get to float along the cool water with the crawdads and water snakes. I get to see the flowers blooming on the shore, the kids playing and the sun attempting to color my alabaster legs. It's awesome.

Maybe I'll take a picture.