Saturday, October 16, 2010

watching my feet

See that article over there...the one on the right about centering yourself? I really felt connected to it until they started talking about your "solar plexis".

What the...huh?

The overall meaning of the article does apply to me, however. I've been, or feel that I am, pulled in different directions. But my place of center is my Faith. It's the one thing where I feel grounded and still. The one place where I can come and know that I am still me. Not the Michelle that has homework that fries her brain, not the Michelle that has to get dinner on the table and the laundry done and not the Michelle that has to make sure your insurance program is up to par and your bill is right.

I can be the me that knows He loves me and has a plan for me. I don't know what that is yet, exactly, but I'm trying to walk the path I feel led.

My hope, is that in a few years I'll be in Yuganda or South America or Haiti. Maybe, I have no idea! I'm not there yet..and who knows if that is what I'm really walking to go do? I'm a little confused and really trying not to think about it cause it drives me nuts not to know. I'm God's problem child. Stubborn and willful and impatient.

He sighs...

To add to my already jumbled brain, I find myself having a crush. "Good Michelle add to your confusion!" I know...I know..

I haven't felt this way for a long time. Four years long...Now, I find myself nervous, full of butterflies and insecure. And yet it feels so awesome at the same time.

Go figure.

2 comments:

Stephen B. Bagley said...

You said this awesomely well.

Michelle said...

Aw! Thanks Stephen. I wonder how my professor is going to feel about my essay... Too bad you aren't my professor!