Friday, February 25, 2011

a little space

I would love to say this year has started out peacefully. That it is the best yet! But, so far? It's been trying.

The events of late are bringing everything to a head. It's about to spill over. Action has to be taken in order to keep the scales in balance and my checkbook.

I've been praying about it all. Praying for insight, for wisdom and for...peace in seeing all of it through however that unfolds.

I have an appointment with a lawyer on Thursday. I have to do what I have been avoiding hoping that I could make it happen, make a way to pay all the medical and everything else that's been piling up since Rachel got sick and her dad decided he didn't want to help support her anymore. My income hasn't changed and I only have so much to pay the piper(s). If I pay one, another has to wait and they don't like that so much.

So, I am here. I am having to give up or so it feels that way. And, yet, it feels like the right thing to do. I need to have a clean slate in order to move forward. Otherwise, I will find myself in the constant struggle of trying to make it happen.

And, It really isn't up to me, is it?

Letting go of the control over something you have no control over, is such a relief.

3 comments:

Sarah said...

Aren't you glad it's almost over? And then life can be just a little less stressful and a little more happy :-) I didn't realize you had posted so much! I love reading what you write....you're so good at it! Love you sista friend!

Michelle said...

Yes! I have a number and date. Which makes it pretty solid and "there" for me. So, Woot!

I'm glad you like it. I went through some archives and was embarrassed for myself as she was at the time. Wow. I'm so glad life provides for growth and maturity and that I have the desire to educate myself, ha! But, it was honest then as it is now, so, yeah. It is what it was and now I move forward :)

Michelle said...

Oh! And, I love you too my sister Sarah :)