I would love to say this year has started out peacefully. That it is the best yet! But, so far? It's been trying.
The events of late are bringing everything to a head. It's about to spill over. Action has to be taken in order to keep the scales in balance and my checkbook.
I've been praying about it all. Praying for insight, for wisdom and for...peace in seeing all of it through however that unfolds.
I have an appointment with a lawyer on Thursday. I have to do what I have been avoiding hoping that I could make it happen, make a way to pay all the medical and everything else that's been piling up since Rachel got sick and her dad decided he didn't want to help support her anymore. My income hasn't changed and I only have so much to pay the piper(s). If I pay one, another has to wait and they don't like that so much.
So, I am here. I am having to give up or so it feels that way. And, yet, it feels like the right thing to do. I need to have a clean slate in order to move forward. Otherwise, I will find myself in the constant struggle of trying to make it happen.
And, It really isn't up to me, is it?
Letting go of the control over something you have no control over, is such a relief.