Ok editing this last post...Well in just a moment. Some comfy jami's and ice cream are calling my name...
Ok..much better. I had a feeling I would be up pretty late tonight. Considering I have slept 15 1/2 hours in the last 24. I usually average 5 to 6 hours of sleep a night. Apparently, I was needing it. I did make it out of my house today. I took my baby to the store to spend the money she has been saving. And of course....a quick stop in the electronics dept. :D That was for me... But that was about all I could muster. I know I wasn't looking so good in the store. Some old holy jeans, a sweat shirt and slide on tennis shoes. I felt stared at for some reason, people kept looking at me. Seriously...this isn't paranoia speaking. Anyway, the rest of my sporadic moments of consciousness were spent picking through some Chinese food, guzzling giant glasses of water and writing. Not just writing my thoughts out on here...I spend my time in other areas too. Poetry...songs...and this book that isn't going anywhere. I get tied, in where I want it to go, so I end up on here to clear out my thoughts in the hopes of making room within the clutter. It hasn't been working today. The making room part... maybe it's the cold meds...or maybe I have no creativity left.
Right now, all that crosses my mind is that Tall, Dark Haired guy that graces my dreams now and then. Course, I still don't know what his face looks like...
Anyway...he could tuck me in my bed, stroke my hair, profess his undying love for me and promise to 'rock my world' just as soon as I was feeling better.
Mmmm yup that would be nice.
3 comments:
I found the tall dark haired dream guy. The fantasy. Sadly, in the end he faded off also. Eventually you come to terms with the idea that you have yourself to work with, maybe your family if you are lucky. You find a way to work with that and accept fantasy for the limited delight that it is.
I am sorry he faded. Mine, is just a "dream". I have no expectations of ever finding someone that fits that mold. But it sure is nice to have that toy to bring out and play with every now and then.
Wouldn't it be nice to be able to live without restrictions and love without limits...?
Frankly...I would be happy with someone that didn't put there other relationship crap onto me and just go with whatever possibilities may be there...just be open...
That, in and of itself is hard enough to find.
And so it is not forgotten...I do have my family. Lucky is one thing, that I know I am.
And I do know that myself is something that I can truly depend on. If it is to be, that it is only myself that I have...then I am happy with that too.
I just have this feeling...that is isn't.
Post a Comment