I was kidnapped.
I was. By these really suave foreign men. Uh huh. They were tall, dark, one had an English accent, one Irish and the other Southern, I think. Yeah...that's it. They bound me up, made me watch home made videos of them strutting around the beach in snug, yet flattering, boxer briefs, and force fed me chocolate ice cream and french fries. The ordeal was horrific and I lost about 10 pounds.
Not buying it?
So, it wasn't exactly like that. Actually, Antonio showed up on my doorstep again. Yes...Antonio Banderas. I know, he is becoming a nuissance. But his latin beat can be a bit charming. He tried, yet again, to persuade me of his undying love. "Meshell...dunt ju know how much I lub ju?" Ugh...he just doesn't get that it wouldn't work out between us. I explained to him that his constant greased, muscle bound, come hither and let me ravage you look, just doesn't get me there. Ya know? Besides, I would be saddened if Melanie were upset. She is my "Working Girl" idol.
I know what you are thinking. And I admit it.
I gave in to Antonio. Happy now?
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