Father's day is this weekend, my daughter's 11th Birthday is next Wednesday, so guess who is coming to visit? Yes..the Sperm Donor. I really do hate using that term, but it is much better than saying the $%!#&@ is coming over. And, Sperm Donor has such a giving conotation to it, really. It just doesn't fit.
I only know he is coming because his boss told me so. He has forgotten her birthday in the past, so each year I give him a reminder call. I do it for her, I can't stand the hurt I see in her, so I try to make it not, a little. His cell phone was disconnected, again. His work had changed it's name and it took a little research on my part. I swear I should be a detective. I called his work and his boss answered. When she found out who I was, she offered up all kinds of info. I told her the only reason for my call was because it was Rachel's birthday. She said he was coming out this weekend, he had asked for time off. Right. I told her I didn't know about it, he hasn't called. I hung up, Two minutes, no less, he called. Of course, he used the excuse that my home phone is always busy. Which I can't really argue with since, when I am home, it is. But, I have an answering machine, he could leave a message. He, obviously, knows my work number, he could have called me there.
I am not one for excuses.
Rachel is excited to see him. It has been since November, last year, that he has taken the time. If he lived thousands of miles, or just hundreds, I could understand. But he lives 125 miles away. A two hour drive.
About once or twice a year, you will see this kind of post from me. I can't understand it. It frustrates me. It disappoints me.
I am excited for her birthday though. Sort of. I keep thinking back over the last 11 years, all that happened, all the change and growing. Sheesh. What the next 11 will bring, I have no clue. Better things, I hope.
2 comments:
In my opinion.......
You do a wonderful job of keeping her hope alive. It is the right thing. He will teach her the reality of it, and so he should do at least one of his jobs...oi.
I hear your pain.....infact I have lived it in years long past. It wont get easier to see that pain in her eyes when 'he' disappoints her yet again. But just like her Mom, she is a strong girl and will grow past it, eventually to rise above it....or move beyond the reach of its pain.
Take heart....she is loved by so many AND she has an awesome Mother.
XXOO
It only bothers me when he comes around. I am sure it gets tiresome of me whining about it. But I just want him to move past his stupidity. For once, to take responsibility instead us having to accept that it is what it is. But, I understand, too, that it, most likely, will never happen.
I just need to rant about it for a minute and I am fine. I don't give the jerk that much power. I know you understand, that, and a whole lot more.
xoxo
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