Inhibited strides

Work, has been incredibly slow this week. The phone just isn't ringing. You know why? 'Cause everyone is out and about enjoying this awesome weather. They are on vacation, off visiting foreign places, camping on beautiful lakes and letting their children run rampant in the thick blades of grass. *sigh* I want to...too.

Since it is so slow, I have been thinking (while going through the motions of the mundane) about this whole making my dreams a reality thing. I need a partner. I need the boisterous one that can charm the masses into needing my services, our services.

I feel like there is a future with this new person I am seeing. Even though, part of me is feeling the fear. He says such nice things to me. About how beautiful he thinks I am, how smart, caring and that I have all my ducks in a row. He says I give him youth and energy, that my personality makes him feel alive and makes him want to be a better person. Which all sounds great but I have been told charming things before only to find out that it was only a way to get what they wanted before they moved on. That's what scares me, how long before he goes away too? And, how much will it hurt this time? Aside from all that (it isn't what I wanted to clear out of my head) I think he would be a good partner in crime, so to speak.

It's just ideas running through my brain. Possibilities. It's too soon to tell if it's lasting or just a rush of endorphines. With all this thought, I feel like there are many roads in front of me and i need to decide which one I am going to follow, climb even. Do I take the road to higher learning and take some online courses to get my degree so as to make more money? Do I take the road that takes my "hobby" into a loved profession? Or do I stay on my current path and hope things get better? The latter of the three seems to be waning in the "hope" area. Thinking of the future is hard and scary when you have been just trying to get by each day. I am leaning towards the first two.

Perhaps, even, trying to walk them both.