I am now to the point of deciding which route to take. I need to back off...break free of this grip someone has on me. I feel smothered, controlled, and it has only been a couple of weeks. My life is now planned out by this person. I am moving don't ya know...selling my home, buying one with him and having a baby. I am serious. This is exactly what he has said to me the last few days. Apparently...I am "the one" and he wants to know if he "Has" me. How can he possibly know that after only knowing me...what...like 14 days or something? You don't Know anyone in that amount of time. This is what pressure is. It wasn't self imposed..he is putting it on me to conform to what his expectations are of me. Not to mention he is using those cutesie pet names. Ugh. Please don't inflict that on me. I don't mind...Honey..Baby...that is ok, when a relationship is to that point. But Angel? Babydoll? No No...Michelle will do nicely, thanks.
I have tried to explain the concept of going slow. Letting things develop naturally and not force anything. Let's just be what it is as it moves along. His response? "I already know what it is going to be with "us" and I know you feel the same. I am just short of saying those 3 little words Michelle." Ummm I do and you are? How can he possibly know how I feel when I don't even know myself? Whatever...
Do I live in some sort of reverse magnetic field? Why do I find myself entwined with such extremes? Either I am with some guy that can't see anything beyond his own flipping nose...or I am with some guy that has me tied to his side for the rest of my life without my consent.
Ugh. I just keep thinking Hawaii. Hawaii...Hawaii.
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