Blue Ribbon

Ever have one of those mornings, where you wake at some un-Godly hour and your body isn't fully functioning but you can't turn your mind off? That was me...4am this morning. There was so much racing through my brain, I thought it might explode...or implode. I dunno. I finally settled my thoughts down by sorting through one by one and coming to resolution with each. Well, resolution on some. There are a few I don't think I will ever find closure or answers. Those particular ones get filed at the bottom of the stack. I will come to it eventually, I am sure.

It is quiet here right now. My boss is gone...the intern hasn't arrived yet and the phones seem to be hybernating for a Monday. Yes. I like it. I have already accomplished a lot this morning, giving me, this well earned break.

Easter was great. Church, was fantastic. I would say that about half the congregation is built of other deflectors from another large Church in the area. I won't go into reasons for the deflections, but they were well warranted. At any rate, I was amazed at the quality of production they have morphed into. Impressive and so many talented individuals coming together as one. My mom made an awesome dinner as usual. The kids played and ran about.

On a sad note, I received a call from my Mom in California. My uncle Teddy passed on Friday. She was angry that she couldn't get hold of me till yesterday. Ya know...the guilt thing? I explained how busy I have been, and then checked my caller ID cause she said she called constantly. Not a single call from her. Hmmm. But my emotion about his passing was almost nonexistant. Which strikes me as odd. He was the husband to my Aunt Anna. The one my daughter is named after. I adored the woman. Before I came to know my birth mother...I had secretly wished that she had been the one to adopt me. I know that sounds harsh in respect to my adopted mom. Too many reasons to list and the fact that i wished such a thing doesn't mean that I didn't respect what my parents gave me, in the best way they knew how. I did...and do. The lack of emotion, perhaps had to do with the fact that i didn't really know him. I have no memories of talking or sharing with him. Simply his face and seeing him around at family functions, are all the memory I can conjure. I feel for his sons, my cousins, and hope that their loss moves swiftly and they can be a peace knowing he is still close in their hearts.

Other than all of that stuff, I have a lot on my mind. Nothing I can put into words right now but am working on it. So much to say, to set free and let be known. But...all in good time I am sure.