Do the edges first...

I know Blogger and Hello are having difficulties. I consider myself a patient person and how can you really complain about a service that is free? I am thankful for the service they provide and the abilities they allow me. But I have to say, it is a little frustrating when you can't even post comments to your page, much less anyone elses. I have photos I would like to upload, but has been impossible to do so. I hope they are able to fix or find resolution, to whatever issues they may be having. They, blogging gurus, give us what we crave most...To be heard, validated (or reprimanded), and a feeling of making a difference within our own individual worlds. And all for the cost of our own precious time.

So, in regards to comments and email sent recently. Thank you for visiting, commenting and I hope you will stop by often.

I am finding it odd this morning. It is Monday. At this time you would find me running about, getting myself ready, my daughter, for what would be a full day of doing for others. Other days I have taken off, were for various needy reasons. My daughter is sick, I am way too sick to go in (although usually I just deal with being sick at work) and the time I have taken is meant for recuperation and taking care. But today? I am free. It is up in the air. I can do what I want, go where I want or do just nothing at all. I am not used to it. But certainly enjoying it. :D

I spoke to my sister in California yesterday. My conversations with her are always pretty interesting. Interesting, in that I find it curious as to how she has changed over the years. If you have read my page for any length of time, then you know my adopted mother has been having health issues this past year. My sister is the one that has been there. Through all the ups and downs, more downs than ups of any kind. I told her yesterday that I am sorry she has had to deal with so much. That I don't live closer to help and feel bad, guilty, that it has all been laid on her. I told her that she can't go on much longer with this kind of stress. There is only so much one person is capable of with someone that isn't willing to take their own abilities and recovery into account. My mother needs constant supervision, 24 hour care. My sister is the same age as me and has a life of her own to live. I am not saying to dump her off at some nursing home and forget about the woman. But some sort of assisted living seems prudent to me. When I mention this to her, she turns a bit more positive and says that recovery is happening but at a snails pace. Ok. But then she mentions that when our mother is left alone, she makes insane choices about her health. Wouldn't this say to you that she cannot be left alone? It does to me. She puts herself, my mom, into precarious situtaions when alone and no one is around to tell her no. Sometimes I feel better equipped, only in that, I have experience in raising a toddler. My mothers actions are childlike, to say the least.

My sister said it is my turn. I agree she needs a break. My suggestion, was some sort of professional care. I will gladly and willingly help in any way I can. She is my mother that raised me in my childhood years (I have other beliefs as to who really taught me about life but that is another post) and I understand that when our parents are older that the care then turns to the children. I accept that. But within what limits? I am torn on this.

I think upon my own self, and say that I have no limits where the care of my child is concerned. She is a child afterall and my love for her is unconditional. So do I look at my mother the same way? Being that she is now like a child once again herself? I think about myself in her situation. I wouldn't want my daughter to care for me in such a way. I want her to have an unlimited life of her own. It is a tender situation, to say the least. Not to mention the history of my relationship with her. It does factor in to my thinking. Maybe, too much.

My mother is coming to stay with me for a few weeks in June. Possibly. It depends on her health and if she can travel. I guess we will see how it goes.