Hind-sight

Why do I always feel so weird when I see him? I saw him in the parking lot outside my work today. With his girlfriend, wife, live-in or whatever it is. Soemthing didn't look right. Something seemed wrong. I was in the store when he was there but I didn't see him. Most likely a good thing. I did see him come out though. I wanted so bad to run up to him and embrace, laugh and make it something it is not. Why can't I shake this? It drives me nuts. So my anger is gone and I am back to that deep feeling of...something. Arg... So what do I do? (And please don;t kick me when you see me...I am doing it already) I call. I am sure he wouldn't have answered if he was near his phone, so I left a message. Saying that I hope things are ok etc. I won't hear back. I don't expect to. Why shold he? But I wanted to at least say I hope all is well despite all that came before.