Wake up calls

And there I was.

His folks were ill. I hadn't realy known them, except in passing, but yet found myself drawn to comforting them and offering my support. The home was modest. Outside sat a parking lot, or almost a wrecking yard type with older model cars parked one next, almost on top of each other. I thought about going in, but realized he was there and thought I should leave. I tried to. But just as before my key broke at the point of stress and there I was holding the pieces in my hand. The vision was similar, like when it happened with my house key, only this time it was my car and I was stuck. I had no choice but to go in the house and ask for a ride. He would take me. (he took me to get my key fixed but on return my car was trapped amidst the wreckage) I was glad but at the same time worried at what might transpire. Would he think I did it with purpose? Or understand it was just fate? It didn't matter. I had my daughter with me and needed to get it done. I paused for a moment in the home. His father was sick, very much so, and his mother was there too. Although, divorced, she still cared for him deeply and was sick over the thought of her ex-husband being ill, that she fell weak herself. She wasn't as I remembered her. She was small, frail and worried beyond return. His fathers newer family stood in the other room with him. We left. At first, the site of his car was that of fanciful sports legend, dorrs that opened up instead of out, shiny red paint but when I entered it, it looked like my old 1977 Camaro. Just redone with some sort of spray over the body. It was odd to see him in such an old heavy car. But I remembered him saying that he wanted a car for the winters here. Something that was better in the snow. I thought...."wow, this wasn't a good choice." Only because I already knew what they were like in the snow. Rear wheel drive is not a plus. I even wondered for a moment, if it was actually my old car fixed up a little. Odd what you think when you are in the company of someone that still makes you nervous.

Next thing, we are at my home. Sitting at the foot of my bed. He on one end and me on the other. We talked. Some lighthearted conversation and then I said "Not to beat a dead horse, but what happened?" And we talked some more. He didn't know, I didn't know and soon we were closer. I felt his lips on my neck. That warm feeling that gives me chills. His lips moved to mine and there we were, again. I thought "this is wrong. How can he when he is still with her?" and I pictured her dark hair in my mind. But the thought quickly flew with the feeling. The feeling of something so deep down. That feeling of this is what is supposed to be. That feeling like you have never felt before with anyone else. The kiss was long, real and wanted.

And then I woke up. And I cried. And I wrote it out so I wouldn't forget. But sitting here typing out what details remain, I realize that this was one of those dreams I don't forget. The realness and vision of it, is one of those ones that stay with me. It is like I am supposed to wait until it plays out. I can't explain. I can't detail enough the feeling that comes with it and the nausea that follows. It just is.