My baby was gone last night. And as I sat and wrote about how much I missed her when she was gone and how I felt lonely and unneeded, I realized I didn't want to write it. I didn't want those who read to know how much I depend on my daughter presence to fill this space I find so haunting at times. I kept thinking of those I loved and gave my all to, and how their nights were now filled with those they left me for... All those questions that make me wonder how I got here, what I did to deserve, and how I could ever change it. It left me wondering how it is that people benefit from the hurt they inflict, and those that are the recipients left flailing. Sometimes, even struggling to get through another day with a smile and helpful hand.
"It is what it is." as I was once told. I take that back...He told me that a lot. But when I asked what "Is" was? There was silence. What a waste of time for me to even ask about "It".
Today is another day. The sun is shining and the birds singing their songs...I'll try again. Ya never know when it might be, just a little different.
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