Thar she blows

Is it just me? Seriously? What ever happened to getting to know someone, sharing some laughs, sharing some moments, sharing something (ya know becoming friends?) until you think that possibly you would like to get to know this person on a one on one intimate basis? Why is everything such a freaking rush? I happen to like the anticipation...the build up...the wondering if he is feeling the same things...what is wrong with that? Why does it have to be "Hey baby...here's my number why don't you call me?" So what am I supposed to do? Rush off to get the phone because "Oh my gosh! There is a guy that gave me his number and I so better call him cause I am that desperate." Um no. Why would I call him? I don't know this person. I know nothing about them. They think they are such a catch that I am going to swoon at the very mention? Heh. I don't think so.

I get a little tired of hearing, from men, of how bad they were treated by other women. What am I supposed to say? I dont' go on about the garbage I went through, to them. I don't rule every conversation with all my baggage. Lord knows I have my share. I got my own stories, I have my own hurts, I have my own bloody sleeves. But I don't give them over to someone I am trying to get to know. And get to know, on some real level. Know what I mean? The level of laughing and sharing of values and beliefs, dreams, hopes, goals, needs and desires.

Don't get me wrong, I know what the anger and sadness feels like. (This happens to be my place to put it. I am not a revenge seeker. I see no value in "getting back" at someone.) And if they need someone to talk to then Hey..I am there. I am good listener but don't make it into some glorified beginnings of a relationship cause it really is one sided. I know what it is to give. I have given. And I will continue to do so, but I am experienced enough and old enough to know, now, that I am worthy of receiving, too. It is about me just as much as it is about them. I happen to know that I am a pretty good catch myself.

*shaking it off*

I think I am done there. On another note...I am going to the beach again this weekend! Ha! Two trips in one summer. I can hardly stand it! This time...Rachel and I are meeting my folks and my youngest sister and her family at Whalen Island. I have never been there, but my Brother and Sis-in-law went and it sounds just awesome. Apparently, the when the tide goes out, you can scan the ocean floor and explore the tide pools. I can not wait. I love the Oregon coast.