The girls were only chatting a moment ago. Now, they are both snuggled on the couches, Rachel and Lindsay, unawares of the light on my desk and clicking of my fingers on these keys. Our night was late, the day long and I think they were only operating on the residual sugar high left by the movie candy.
It was fun to go out with friends. It doesn't seem like it happens often enough these days. Everyone is so busy with their lives, families and work. Myself included. There always seems to be something that needs to get done and the excuse of time.
I talked with Christine, Lindsays mom, about single life and she about her married one. And it got me thinking...
At what point do I just let go and start trusting again? My mom mentioned to me about how when I start dating, that I soon become stand offish. It is true, those memories of being wounded start to instill the fear of getting into something that would risk having it done again. I start to turn away, push away and make myself feel that it doesn't matter. My fear isn't of the relationship itself, I know what I give...I know how I can love...I know that I want to. But, the thought of making that wrong choice again, or just taking a chance - makes me scared. There is someone that I would really like to get to know more. And from what I have learned thus far, seems really good. But what if I am wrong, what if it is all just talk and is really "to good to be true"? What if I blow it with all my questioning instead of just letting it flow, taking that risk to see where it leads? It is hard enough to believe that there is someone that fits your ideal, so what do you do when you think you may be talking to them?
Maybe I am not making any sense...
I will leave you with one of my all time favorite songs, downloaded tonight super fast with my DSL. :P
Susanne the plans they made put an end to you
I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song
I just can't remember who to send it to
I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again
Won't you look down upon me, Jesus
You've got to help me make a stand
You've just got to see me through another day
My body's aching and my time is at hand
And I won't make it any other way
Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again
Been walking my mind to an easy time my back turned towards the sun
Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around
Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things
To come
Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground
Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you, baby, one more time again, now
Thought I'd see you one more time again
There's just a few things coming my way this time around, now
Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see you fire and rain, now"
3 comments:
Nothing is sweeter than our sleeping children....dang me.
Except perhaps feeling there arms around our neck. That never changes, even when they are grown. If I didn't thank you the last time you did that...well, thanks sweetie....it felt wonderful. I can still feel it now.
90% of what we 'fear' never comes to pass...just food for thought.
Love Ya...XXOO
*their arms............lol
I love you Mom. And thanks for the food ;). You always keep me full, emotionally and spiritually. Intellectually too. Your a smart lady.
Rachel snuggled up to me yesterday while we watched Iron Chef. lol I love those moments no matter what we are doing.
And thanks Frenzied. I am certainly thinking about jumping full on off the cliff, free fall and all.
Post a Comment