Sugar Plums

We did have a weekend, right? I didn't accomplish all the things I had to do...so some will spill over into tonight.

Apparently, I gave our new girl the nasty cold I had. I know I should have taken at least one day off, but I didn't. And so, I spread my germs all over. I feel really bad. But it partly isn't my fault. I don't get any "sick" time off at my office. I only get 12 personal days a year. (My boss doesn't believe in "sick" time off because so many abuse the priviledge.) 12 days off a year, isn't very much. That is 12 days for both vacation, personal and sick time. So, I don't use my days for sick time other than with my daughter. I have to make sure I have the time to devote to her if she gets sick, without losing pay. Anyway...I am in the office alone today. My boss is out and about. I would just like to say, that it is definitely a Monday. Yeesh...

I am trying hard this year, not to let "stuff" get to me. I have this tendency to think on all the things that haven't worked out from the past. I think about those I miss during the Holidays, how I would have liked to have spent them, knowing they were still in my life, the "what if's" come creeping in and the feelings of being alone start to overshadow the everyday beauty that is around me. I think back to Christmas' past and how I was so sad. I wonder what I missed when I was lost in "this hurt" or "that disappointment"? I don't believe I live in the past anymore, even though I may hold myself back, once in a while, because of it. It is more of a fear of having those feelings again. If that makes any sense. And I suppose that could be deemed as living in the past, but then maybe you would have to be in my head to understand that I honestly am not. And maybe I am just typing all this out cause I am trying to convince myself that I am not. Huh. Anyway...It is going to be a good holiday this year. It will.