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Well, I certainly didn't mean to make anyone cry. I love you guys...and I think you know that I pretty much say what is on my mind. Maybe not always in person. But it comes out in some way, nevertheless. I must say however...that my words, depending on the recipient, arent always so nice. I say the hard stuff too, when so motivated. Other times...it is best for me to hold my tongue (lesson learned), otherwise I will insight more damage when it isn't necessary.

I have been working a lot the past couple days. Which for me, can be a good thing. My energies are focused and determined. When this happenes for me, I tend to clarify many a thing in my head. I guess I do drown myself in work but not to the neglect of other, more important, personal issues.

I have been rationalizing a certain situation in my head. Trying to come to some sort of conclusion of whether or not it is a good thing for me. Or, if I should just move away from it. It has been an ongoing battle since it's inception. No matter which way I look at it...it comes up short of what my needs are. It would seem, that only their needs are what is of concern, on their part. I hear about certain gestures and givings they have done in the past. It forces me to compare it to my own experience with them. Inevitably, I notice how different it is and how unimportant it all (me) is to them. I don't want to be unimportant to anyone I am involved with. I don't want my existence to be a "what can I do for them today?" type either. Too much imbalance, and someone (me) is left feeling neglected and used. Maybe neglect is a strong word. Maybe inconvenient/ce would be better. I hear, too, of the wrongs done to them and yet notice that they are just doing the same. How can you condemn one for their deeds when you don't even know better not to do them yourself? Do unto others as you would have done unto you...or so it goes. Something I try to live by. Too bad others, don't.

I was reading the other night, an article about men vs women and cheating. The article was directed for men but interviewed women in order to get their opinion and perceptions. One woman spoke about how she couldn't, wouldn't even consider marriage in this day and age to any man. How men's attitudes these days are one for all and all for me. Their life is one big play date and let's see how many date's we can squeeze in to benefit me. Pessimistic, I know. But, I have to say, that I understand her perception. This is not to say that women don't have their fair share of cheaters and users. They exist and just about as many as men. But, ya know...it isn't just nice guys that finish last. Nice girls do too...