Hmm perhaps I shouldn't have said anything about my date. He has gone from attentive and caring to...I am not sure what. Certainly not the same. See? I go to lunch with a guy and BAM! it's over before anything could begin. Not that it's over...I am just in that point of where I don't know what he thinks or whatever. My head immediatly goes to where I think there is no possible way he could. Why would he? I am an overweight single parent that struggles to get through daily life. My head full of mis-trust from prior damage. Too much to deal with, and not yet have I met a man that thought I was worth the struggle to prove me wrong about him.
And so why do I have to analyze every single situation? Is it really my fear of feeling hurt? Or am I just a complete nut case and the reason why I find myself not able to have a relationship is because I am truly not capable of having one? I know I am capable of love, I just don't think that men are capable of loving me.
How's that for a downer. It's not a pity party. I was trying to be hopeful...earlier. Not so much anymore.
Maybe, it's the margaritas. Maybe, the drink just let's me see it, for what it is.
3 comments:
Hello older sister. hehe Yes it is me...Sarah. Well I am posting about the great slim down. haha. I just wanted you to know that I feel quite alone these days in my journey through weight loss too. I have been majorly struggling recently and gained 2 lbs. bummer! Anyway I am not giving up but it is truly difficult. Just wanted to assure you that your not the only one suddenly feeling lonely in this. I am too. I love you. bye now :)
Thank you Frenzied :)
I really don't know what's up. But I made up my mind that I am not going ot fret about it either. If he wants to make an effort, then he can go ahead and try. I did my part for now...at least until he steps up to the plate and dusts it off too.
Hi my Sarah... :) I love you sweety. So glad we went walking this morning. Let's go whenever we can! You are so NOT alone...I am here with you. All the way :)
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