Ok..so I am a bit confused lately. I went out to dinner last night with "the guy". Yesterday afternoon I was pretty much set (within myself) that it wasn't going to work out. I have this thing about all or nothing. But my best friend reminded me that I don't want that. And she is right, I don't. A happy medium is what I desire. (Ya know? Usually my best friend, when asked for advice, tells me that she can't relate cause she has never been in that situation. But yesterday? She was so clear cut and straight up with me. She put it plain, and I love that!) Anyway, a happy medium is what I can have. I think. I don't know. I think my problem is that I am falling for this guy, and I don't want to end up falling face first into that cement slab I speak of. I start to look for reason why something can't be, so I can move away with minimal damage. And sometimes, the reason isn't valid.
I was talking last night, very late - so late I should say morning, about fears and such with a friend of mine. How they are so difficult to let go of. More so than sadness or grief. They creep in without so much as a sound or warning. You don't even know they are there...until...their moment of opportunity presents, destroying all in its path or within it's grip.
So here I am doing battle. All I know is that when I am close to him, I feel really good. So, I have come to a resolve that I am going to focus on that and not the "What If's". Well, try anyway. Rome wasn't built in a day ya know. My Pisa is still in sway. :P
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