Your Choice ;)

"There are only two ways of spreading light -
to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it."

Edith Wharton

Ok. My posts, which are the reflection of my thoughts, have been...umm kinda yucky. I have had my moment of sadness, being withdrawn, and just not liking people much. I feel I have done my time of disappointment. I can be done now.

I spent my night, not speaking to anyone. Not so much hiding, but just getting myself together as it were. I listened to music, found some good stuff, danced...sang...laughed...and didn't care about much of anything. I thought about possibilities to come and the freedom that instills. I thought about how I didn't want to feel anything anymore and I thought about how I would miss out on so much, if I made myself so numb. There is bad and there is hurt but dang me if I don't like the good stuff you get. You can't have one without the other. I thought about just going into hiding again and I thought about the laughter I would miss. That face splitting, leg crossing laughter you only get, when you share it with others. I thought about words said to me the past few days and thought about the truth that rang so loud. I thought about the restrictions I felt and thought about how I don't want those limits. I want freedom. Freedom to feel, freedom to express and freedom to be who I really am. With limits you can't be. With restrictions, your held back. I really don't need someone that pushes me down, pushes me back. I have had enough of those. But someone that lifts me up? Now that is what I am talking about.

Happiness isn't something someone gives you, it is something you give yourself.

I am sure you are expecting a "hallelujah!" out of me, at any moment. No. Just realizing some things and putting the pity parade out of business.

"Better to light one small candle
than to curse the darkness."

Chinese Proverb

Don't ya think?