A while ago I received this email asking me about my blog titles. How sometimes they are a little to Vague in what the meaning is behind them. Actually, I don't see it. I think they are pretty much out there. Ok yeah, sometimes it is my own little inside joke and if someone catches on, then great. But I do it mostly for me and it sort of solidifies what I am thinking on at the moment. I don't name my posts until after I have written them. Like this last one for instance....100% Cotton. My thoughts were about my mini meltdown last night. How, when it rains, it pours. And when it rains and you are in the middle of it, you get wet. Thus, the picture of the fountain. And when you get wet, at some point, you get to dry off and all is well. And when you think of drying off you think of towels and there is no better towel than one that is 100% Cotton. So I got dry, by writing my post and felt better. That was it and it worked for me.
I had drops of rain from my boss, then CJ, the ultimate drip, came into the forefront this last weekend too and we got into it (By the way, any potential men that may be reading this page might like to know that if you begin to date me, that after about 6 months it is a known fact that you will suddenly meet the girl of your dreams and I will no longer be needed. It is true, she will appear just like that. Out of nowhere like magic. Just keep that in mind. I can make your dreams come true. Ask Chris, or Matt or CJ. Several years invested in the research. I should have my own patent. Hey, maybe they could do something with the scar on my right butt cheek from the subcutaneous protrusion I had in my accident?), The marketing project is in limbo and I had to read yet another email drenched about my lack of enthusiasm and how "I won" and he was going to remove all the work I had done on the website (which is completely unfounded and the misunderstanding is being rectified, I think), as well as a host of other internal nasty manifestations about my own self worth. Anyway, I melted. My mom had some sage advice too. She said "Ya know, if you cry really hard, really fast it keeps your eyes from swelling too much." Or it was something like that anyway. I cried hard last night, but it was for a long time and the effects of it showed this morning.
Lunch date guy started calling again. He asked me last week, if I thought he was ignoring me. I said.. "No, I pretty much figured you weren't interested in hanging out with me. No worries, really." He didn't say much to that. I am not sure if he wanted me to be heart broken or what? I am pretty much OK these days when it comes to rejection. It is a given I think. There is obviously something wrong with me in the eyes of men. I am what I am and I won't pretend to be something I am not. Anyway, he called tonight too and the conversation consisted of the fact that he is never - ever - never and he repeated never going to get married again.
OK.
So what exactly am I doing talking to him? I mean, it isn't that I am looking for marriage. But I am not going to spend all my time and energy with someone that leaves no options for the future. It has just been laid on the table that his future consists of what he has right now. Right...so there are no choices, no room for growth etc.. Why would I look to open something that is sealed shut indefinitely? Ugh. We are going to lunch tomorrow. I am sure that if I continue to see him on a regular basis, that some girl will show up and change his mind around. Yet another of the male species redeemed. And all they had to do was get together with me, to figure out what they really wanted.
Perhaps I will join NaNoWriMo and write a book about the ten steps to getting the woman of your dreams. Step One...call Michelle on the phone and ask her to lunch...
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