Hellomoto

I hate my scale. (I know it's not the scales fault, but it feels better to have that unaccountable for my own choices, moment)

I think I am dating someone that is even more insecure about relationships than me.

Good gosh.

Since I was on the phone last night with my sister in California, who is rather long winded, I wasn't able to talk with him. He called on my other phone and I told him that I was long distance with my sis and I would call him back in a bit. The reason for her call afterall, was that my mom is in the hospital, again. It was a wee bit important, aside from the part about the reunion and me helping her with her computer. He seemed fine with it, but then, while I was still on the phone with her, he left me a voicemail stating that he was tired and going to bed. He'll talk to me tomorrow etc.. I thought, hey that's cool I'll just call him tomorrow. Well, apparently he momentarily "forgot" he had left me that message and at 12am he was leaving voicemails about how I didn't return his call, am I having problems with our relationship and how I need to talk to him if I am thinking of not seeing him anymore etc. (There was more but it really doesn't deserve any sort of validation on here. All it did was piss me off.)

Ok.

Where in the world did he get all that from? At what point did I express anything about breaking up with him? (recently anyway, and even then it wasn't to him directly) I simply took his message to me as what it said. He was going to bed and I thought, silly me, that it would be best if I didn't disturb his sleep by calling him back, late at night. Was I wrong? I don't think so. But he took and received some serious rejection out of that. Frankly, I don't need the drama. And eggshells don't feel particularly good on the bottom of my feet.

I probably shouldn't be writing about this on here. I dont' want to sway opinion of him just because we have some negative moments. For the most part, he is a great guy. I am just a little frustrated by his outburst that was completely unwarranted. I feel like he is putting past experiences on me, with women that he couldn't trust. And, I certainly understand that (I am trying my hardest not to do the same), but it's not fair. And I am not that kind of woman.

His yucky message was followed by about 6 other messages apologizing. Realizing he had told me he was going to bed, earlier. I just sat there, listening to his voice mails thinking "Too bad you can't go back and erase messages already sent before the intended party hears them. Cause that's what I would have done. Ya Big Dork."

We are planning on talking tomorrow a little more in depth. My bottle of wine is ready to add that little touch of inhibition. He's going to get a rational, firm yet understanding, ear full.