I have to stick by my guns right? I have to stand up for what I believe is right for me, not someone else, in order to live honestly? right? I have to risk looking like a witch with a capital B in order to do so? Even if I put it in as nice a way as I can think of.
So why does it make me feel bad?
Kelly sent me a message last night. I got it this morning. I wrote him back explaining that he must have sent it to me by mistake. And, that perhaps he should remove my cell number from his phone so that he doesn't confuse me with one of his "other" hook ups. That, I would appreciate it. He wrote and said, "I was only saying hello. It won't happen again. :(" I wrote back and said " Sorry Kelly, but I am looking for someone that wants me and just me. I am not good being one of many..."
It's a fine line, I know, between saying that you only want to date one person and keeping options open. But when you are willing to go to a level of intimacy that should only be shared with one person, that is when you cross that line. I know, too, that most men don't see a line. (The world of dating is one giant football field.) They don't even have a clue that one exists. Which is fine. Live the way you choose to do so, life is all about choices, but don't expect me to choose you or feel that you have value in my life when you don't have that for me. I have more worth than that. I have learned, and am still learning...
But it still kind of sucks, and I am not sure why.
2 comments:
It was about two years after I started demanding better that I finally got better. Telling you how glad I am that I didn't miss out on my now husband because I settled for one of those "kelly"'s would only come out... cheesy. So, I'll just say that one day you'll find a guy who makes every single one of these days worth it.
Right. Worth it. It's hard to see that when you don't know if anything will really come of it. But thanks Justice, it does make me feel like there is actually hope. :)
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